..Mooncat Express..

ヨーロッパ出張から戻ったよ｡
変なホテルを予約したり､時差で寝ぼけたりして更新が出来なかったよ｡メンゴ｡

今回はイタリア～ギリシャをまたぐうまいものめぐり｡
そのレポートはさておき､久々のエントリーはヨーロッパ&イタリア｡
まずは画像をクリック クリック

いやぁ、忙しくて更新しなかったヨ

人はやめるわ、新しい案件は降りかかるわで、まともに休日もなかったよ。
更新止まってスマ。

ということでいっぺんに公開しようかな。

There was a married couple which husband had a very big pennis and the wife always had satisfiedd night.

But the husband turns off the light dark everytime they make love.The wife was so suspicious and turned on the light in the middle of making love.Then she found the husband had a big dildo on his pennis.
Angered wife yelled at her husband,
"Hey! what'sthe heck is going on? You must explain why you've been using such a thing!!"
"Sorry honey. But you mus explain first."
"What do you mean? What do I explain!!" said the wife.
The husband said, "It's about our kid."

In a Mexican village, there was a fisherman catching fish on a small boat with small net. An American traveler saw the fish and asked,

"Hey that's a nice fish. How long did you go fishing?"
The fisherman replied, "Not that long time."

The traveler said, "If you went fishing longer, you could catch more fish then!"
The fisherman said, that's enogh for him and his family.

"So what do you do after fishing?" asked the traveler.
"Sleep until the sun comes up high, then go fishing. When I'm back, play with kids and go siesta with wife. Have some drink with friends in the night, play guitar, and sing some song together. Ah, my day finishes then."

The traveler said to the fisherman seriously.
"As a man who took MBA at Harvard Business School, let me give you a nice advice, alright?
You should go fishing longer everyday. And sell the fish in the market. When you got some money, buy a bigger ship. Then you can get more catch and earn more. Use the money to get more ship until you get a big fleet.
When you comes up to this level, stop selling to the market. Set up your own seafood processing factory and produce value added products.
Eventually, you'll move out from this small shabby village to Mexico City and come up to L.A. and N.Y. You will lead the corporation from an office building in Manhattan!"

The fisherman asked, "How long will it take to be like that?"
"I guess 20, no about 25years to get there."

"What will happen after that?"
"After that? It will be really far out." The traveler grinned, "You will sell the stock and become a millionair!"
"So?"
"You retire the business and live in a small village near a beach, sleep until the sun rises high, then go fishing, enjoy time with kids and go siesta with your wife. Have some drink with friends in the night playing guitar, and sing some songs. How do you like that!?"

　ニワトリの卵に色付けしたものをレッサーパンダの卵と偽って売りつける詐欺の被害が増加している。昨今の直立レッサーパンダブームに乗じ、被害件数は今年に入ってすでに１６００件を超えている。これは昨年の８００倍を上回るハイペースだ。

えっ、レッサーパンダって卵から生まれるの!?
新聞つながり。

月の猫さん表彰される

先月の染物工場火災の第一発見者で、消火に協力したパン職人の月の猫さんが消防庁から感謝状を贈られることになった。月の猫さんは仕事場に泊まるときに、火を落としたナンを焼く窯で寝ることがあるという。「ぽかぽかですよ。寝てる間に温度も下がるので寝汗もかかないし」とのことだが、先月の染物工場での火災の際、月の猫さんの店にも火が回った。いつもとは違うナン窯の熱さで起きたという月の猫さんは火災に気付き、消防に連絡し自らも消火に協力した。今回の感謝状については「窯で焼かれなくてよかった」とのこと。

A boy asked his dad what is politics. Dad said,
"1. Call me [Capitalism] because I put money in the house."
2. Your mom decides how to use money, so she is [Government].
3. We have to take care of you, se you are [People].
4. We can call the nanny [Labor].
5. Your young brother is still a baby, let's call him [Future].
Now you think from this."

The boy went to bed thinking it over.
Late in the night, his sleep was interupted by his brother crying. He found the baby did big poop.
As he went to the parent's bed room, he heard peaceful sleeping breath. So he went to the nanny's room not waking up his parents.

There he found the door was locked and he saw his dad and the young nanny was doing Ding-a-Dong from the key hole.

Next morning, the boy said to his dad, "I understood what is plitics, dad."
"Alright, tell me what you think."
The boy answered, "While [Capitalism] stab [Labor] in the back, [Government] sleeps in peace. [People] is ignored losing its way and the [Future] is full of shit!"

Mooncat Expressで英語の勉強する?
もちろん普通に勉強なんてしないよ。

ジョークで学ぶ英語教室。

まずは第一弾。

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knows his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."

The Judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"